I am with You
By Connie Hintz, Spiritual Director, with the Gloria Dei Community
During this fearful time of Covid19, I have been reflecting on the words of Fred Buechner as he considers how God might respond to our fears. “Here is the world. Beautiful things will happen. Terrible things will happen. Do not be afraid. I am with you.”
Do not be afraid? Really? On what basis should we not be afraid? Terrible things are happening all around us—way too many people are getting sick and dying. The burden has become too much for the exhausted workers who are caring for them. Families are separated from their dying loved ones and people are losing their jobs and sources of income while they while away their days under quarantine, worrying about now they will make ends meet. And you tell us not to be afraid?
Ah, but it is the next sentence that makes all the difference: “I am with you” says God.
The Gospel story is about God breaking into the darkness of our human suffering through the incarnation of Christ Who chose to experience along with us all of the fragility and vulnerability of human flesh—all the way to a violent death—for us. It was the ultimate expression of love, of solidarity with us human beings, what I like to think of as “withness.” And then Christ made it clear that His deepest desire is that we too should follow His example of “withness.” His prayer was that we all might be one even as He and the Father are one.
And, yes beautiful things are happening too. We humans can be channels of “withness” for each other.
So often, in these days of corona virus worries, we hear the words, “We are all in this together.” We hear it from public figures, from news anchors, from preachers and from friends. We are together in our fears, but we are also together in our hopes and acts of kindness. People are showing up for each other—Italians singing from balconies, women making masks with their home sewing machines, weary nurses holding the hands of dying people whose families are not allowed to be present. We are hearing about so many beautiful acts of “withness.”
So where, I wonder, does all this human capacity for “withness” come from? Surely it must be that we are all held in this bigger “Withness,” that that very “Withness” has echoed forth within our human hearts, whether recognized as such or not. All the while the bad infection rages around us, so God’s good infection is spreading kindness, healing and hope throughout our communities. Quiet promises of resurrection are everywhere.
I speak for myself. I know how often I am tempted, in times of suffering, to succumb to anxiety and fear, even depression and despair. But then, there is this light that shines in the darkness—this hope that we are all being held in this great “Withness” of God. It seems that I have to choose daily where I will position myself. Can I really trust this “God with us” thing? One thing I am learning is that, when I choose to live out of this sense of “withness,” wobbly though it may be, I find that my capacity to trust it is growing. And living out of “withness,” for me, means choosing to sing from my own little balcony (figuratively speaking, of course—I have neither balcony nor singing voice)! And that might mean simply showing up (maintaining social distancing, of course), gratefully paying attention to those who are singing all around me, checking by phone on a struggling friend, reading stories via Skype to the grandchildren, and staying intentional about turning my own dark anxieties into prayer and hope in God with us and into small acts of channeling that “withness” to those around me.
It is all about “withness”—the “Big Withness”—I call that God — and all the little “withnesses” that make it manifest. You might also call it “the Great Love.”