Every good blog should contain a list or two, so here’s one. These are some observations, lessons and revelations I’ve experienced during my years as a Spiritual Director. Some of these center on the Directee, some on me (as a Director), and some on the Art of Spiritual Direction. See how they resonate with you. In no particular order:
- People have no idea how much God loves them. If they did, their lives would forever be changed. God’s unfailing love is too hard for us to believe. We find it too hard to accept, because we have been taught that God’s love comes with strings attached. There are no strings. Once you come to realize that this is true, the whole cosmos opens up for you.
- The best thing I can give to my directees is the gift of my attention to my own interiority and practice outside of a Direction session. It’s not my study (spotty), personality (meh), cleverness (slim) or even the questions I ask during a session. The gift comes from God’s work in me as I journey through my own Spiritual Formation.
- As a Director, how I feel afterward about a session has no bearing on how the well the session went. This is a reminder to me that I am the least important figure in the Spiritual Direction relationship.
- Therefore, during a session the smaller I make myself (metaphorically speaking), the more space is created for the Spirit to operate in the Directee.
- The greatest joy I have in a session is when the Directee comes to their own discoveries of God and self. Whenever this epiphany lands, I am so grateful, and I think, “yes, this is how it is supposed to be. The answer was there all the time!”
- Holding, bearing witness, sitting with, accompanying, listening, letting down gently, helping to let go—these are some of the most potent hallmarks of the Art of Spiritual Direction. There are many others, but these seem to bubble up first…
- Often, Directees just want to know, “Is what I’m experiencing ok?” Almost every time I want to say, “Hell, yeah!” Sometimes we just want to know that we’re not losing our mind, and that our experiences are all a part of being a human loved by God.
- One time during a session I was told by a Directee, “You’re good at not answering questions.” I think they meant it as a compliment. If they didn’t, at least I accepted it that way. It seems like a nice fit.
- As in all endeavors, I know that I will fail at most of the above, but there will also be success. The interesting part is that terms like “failure,” “success,” “progress,” “effectiveness,” etc., lose their meaning as time goes by. The Spirit cannot be contained by any metric.
Peace,
Dave